Chapter Text
"I feel like there’s a context I’m terribly missing" She pointed at me, the context, with great doubt.
I laughed out of obligation, —because it was the only thing I could do,—and leaned against the door. "Yes, well, I… Am I at least a pleasant surprise?" I explained without thinking twice, scratching my neck.
She opened her mouth to reply but no sound came out in her surprise. — Are you saying I’m not a pleasant surprise? — She exclaimed. My eyes did the same as her mouth, and I shook my head urgently.
"No! Sorry, I didn’t mean that, you know? I mean if you thought that of all the surprises you could have today, uh… am I one of the best ones…?" Pitiful, was a pretty nice adjective to describe how I tried to excuse myself until her laughter interrupted me, thank heaven.
"Yes, Max" She looked at me carefully, as if making sure I was real and not her illusion, "You are a pleasant surprise." She crossed her arms, resting her cheek in the palm of her right hand. The pathetic and amusing expression she gave me made me blush slightly with embarrassment. I sighed.
"I think it would be easier to explain why I’m here, right?" I finally gave in, lowering my shoulders. She just nodded with a smile. "If it’s not too complicated" she exaggerated.
I exhaled and just took a quick glance behind me, making sure Brad wasn’t around for any reason. "We’ve been assigned a class project together," I explained, forming an ironic grimace.
It was no surprise that she raised both eyebrows.
"You and Bradley Uppercrust the III?" She asked, stunned, "Wow, Brad’s bad luck knows no bounds" She added, but immediately corrected herself, "I mean, not because you’re “bad luck” as such, but because, well, you understand…"
"Don't worry, I get it" I helped her finish, understanding her similar way of speaking without thinking like mine. "But we’ve been making good progress" I wanted to add so as not to leave our “relationship” in such a bad light.
Her surprise quickly surpassed mine. She seemed to want to comment further but thought twice.
"Well, and…" She searched for words, hesitating. "speaking of the devil," She softened her gaze, focusing on her original purpose for being there, "Is Brad inside?", she peeked slightly over my shoulder.
"I’m outside" I responded almost instantly, rubbing my back against the door hurriedly.
My action wasn’t the most subtle, and so she rolled her eyes with some amusem*nt, "Of all the reasons I could have come to Bradley’s dorm, none of them involved running into you… despite being a “pleasant surprise." She made a fair mockery of my first attempt to excuse myself.
"So he’s not here then." I continued ignoring her comment and starting a lie I wanted to avoid.
She tilted her head back, "So?" She repeated, perplexed, thinking I was taking her as dumb.
"...So it’s just me working" I formulated with difficulty, causing her to frown, "Uh-huh." She dragged, not believing a single word.
"I promise!" I raised both hands in surrender, "I have no reason to lie to you, right?"
She looked back through the windows, scrutinizing any movement or anthing that hinted he was inside, but she just bit her lip.
"That’s correct, which is why all this seems stranger." I looked at her confused, cursing how smart she was or how bad I was at lying.
She observed my silence and cold sweat, causing her to step back. She didn’t lower her guard or her intense gaze, but eventually looked away, realizing something. She sighed and snorted with a dry laugh, "Does Brad not want to see me?"
It seemed more like an affirmation said aloud than a question, to which I had to reject the idea, moving my hands in her peripheral vision, so she would look at me again.
It wasn’t the same feeling, but it was inevitable to remember the way she accepted rejection at the last party.
"I don’t think that’s the case" I opted to stop lying…
"Oh, really? So you don’t want me to see him?" She alternated, never sounding down, just very curious.
What was it with all women interrogating me? Not even a hello? I shook my head to focus on it.
"I’d prefer you saw me." and I decided to just omit the truth; though technically, it was true that if I had to choose between her talking alone with Uppercrust or with me, at least I’d know what would happen with me.
With Bradley, on the other hand…
"Oh, you have to be kidding" She recited incredulously at my words, and before I had a chance to understand the great misunderstanding they caused, she continued, "Can we leave this strange conversation for another time and focus on Brad? I really need to talk to him…"
"I’ll tell him to look for you as soon as I see him." There was a growing desperation in my voice to end this encounter, as it could be any moment now that Bradley would come down, and, by this point, I had made all this so terrible and unnecessarily stranger than it should have been initially, that his presence would only make everything collapse.
So I could only limit myself to continue with this tale that wasn’t a lie as such but wasn’t a true truth either.
The brunette had left her incredulity aside and now sounded irritated. There was no way I could judge her.
"Alright." She declared with no choice, closing her eyes. She reflected for a moment and, although she didn’t seem satisfied with the conclusion she had reached, it was obvious she didn’t seem to have another option.
"I’ll be in the library. Tell him it’s urgent" And without more, she turned around, not before giving me an unsure look, "And you owe me explanations."
—More? —was the only thing I could think of as I nodded and said goodbye with my lips stretched to the sides. I remained in that position until she completely disappeared from my field of vision and didn’t re-enter until I was completely sure she wouldn’t come back for any reason.
I cautiously closed the door, uncertainty rising as I placed both hands on it. I bit my lip with a guilty smile, —Ah, sh*t.
Too inert in my thoughts, I ignored the presence descending towards me; so the sound of someone clearing their throat behind me scared me to death… and I had had quite a few scares by this point.
"For God's sake-!"
Brad’s gracious face greeted mine, just a few inches apart from each other.
Holding his half-open gaze with my terrified one, he moved away in a calm motion. "W-what? How long-? Did you see who-?" I stammered.
Screwed, with all due respect, was an understatement, and his annoyed demeanor only showed that continuing to talk was useless.
"Keep the explanations to yourself, I can only imagine what you talked about, didn’t you let her in?" I ran my hand over my eye up to my hair, feeling like I had been caught at the scene of the crime.
—He wouldn’t forgive me for sure.— And to my misfortune, Uppercrust was too perceptive to overlook my lies. I swallowed hard.
"...She said she’d be in the library." I confessed in a murmur, expecting him to explode or question me endlessly, and I wouldn’t know how to answer in any way without revealing the ridiculous jealousy I felt.
"Ha." Brad covered his mouth, stifling a loud yawn, "I can’t believe she made the whole trip here just to tell you that" He shrugged, "I don’t understand either of you." He added, slowly shaking his head and approaching the table where we were working.
I couldn’t help but dissociate from the situation upon noticing the terrible and visible dark circles under Uppercrust's eyes. Having fallen unconscious was a great help to rest from everything that happened, but him? He didn’t even have a chance to rest due to my convenient accident.
"Doesn’t it bother you…?" I hesitated, tilting my head not to lose sight of his features, a small tear came out of his eye from the yawn, "I don’t see how understanding your strange relationship is of my interest" Behind him, little paws followed, diverging only to approach their water bowl.
Brad seemed to relax at Any’s presence and gave a few taps on his temple, sighing, "Are you going to meet her?" His expression remained indifferent, but the tone of his voice showed a foreign despondency.
I felt my blood freeze as the idea cursed my insides: Did Brad still have such feelings for his ex that the idea of me going out with her instead of him was so devastating?
Distressed, I clenched my fist. Uppercrust still didn’t look at me; he pretended to observe the unfinished presentation on the table, not even allowing me to have his attention.
And I don’t know what possessed me, a stupid idea: —I didn’t want him to become my secret again, — was what made me approach the brunette with a determination driven by fear and courage.
—I didn’t want to lose the person I liked again.— I placed my hand vehemently on the table, noticing Brad’s surprised gaze. I maintained eye contact, almost begging him to focus only on me.
"What are you doing-?"
"I’m not the one she wants to see." I sentenced. Brad was too stunned to speak.
—I didn’t want to…—
“Bradley, I-...” nothing came out, the overwhelming anxiety arriving before my words. I wanted him to look at me, yes, but now that he was, the words couldn’t come out of my mouth.
“I…” It was impossible.
“I’m not the one you want to see; it’s you.” —…keep lying,— I reminded myself, finally lowering the gaze. Was I doing the right thing? It was a moral question that should have made me feel better, yet now I felt irreparably dejected, as if I had just been cruelly rejected.
Because they had done it before, and now with him, they had chosen someone who wasn’t me, and no matter how much I wanted, I didn’t want to get it that way. Only I knew how things went that I achieved through a lie.
This was the right thing to do. Bradley would go to the library, alone, and talk about whatever he had to talk about with...
“Just why the f*ck would Sylvia Marpole want to talk to me in the library?” I opened my eyes slowly. Bradley now looked at me with a frown and his mouth slightly open, both of us unable to believe what was happening.
“S-Sylvia?” I echoed, unable to believe that was the name Brad had uttered. “I understand she wants to ‘thank me,’ but why not just do it here?” He continued, bewildered, not understanding the reasoning process.
“D-do you think Sylvia is the one who knocked on the door?” I insisted, still sharing his surprise.
“Who else would do it?” He questioned almost desperately.
“...Sylvia?” It was still a question, but the brown-haired guy took it as an answer, so I cleared my throat and looked at him uncertainly. “Do you think Sylvia wants to see you in the library?”
Brad raised his forearms, spreading his palms to the side. “Yes? No? You’re the one telling me this!” He expressed vehemently, too confused to be angry but sufficiently bewildered to reproach me.
We both fell silent for a second, his exaggerated concerned gesture and my stunned silence representing two opposite extremes of a misunderstanding we didn’t know how to handle.
“Woof!” We both turned towards the sound almost immediately. There, Any was looking at us with her head tilted, eager to join our conversation. And, to be fair, it was the first time she’d seen us exchange so many words without being sick.
Bradley groaned, sitting heavily in the nearest chair. “Do you have a fever again?” He asked in a moment of patience he had decided to grant me, reaching the safe conclusion that it was the only excuse for me saying such nonsense.
Like an idiot, I touched my forehead and just shook my head without much reaction.
“You must have after-effects then…” He said without much seriousness, giving up on making sense of my way of being and trying to get back to work. I swallowed hard.
“…Brad?”
He just raised an eyebrow, rolling his eyes.
“Max…?” He replied back.
I had the idea and plan clear. I wasn’t lying, just omitting the truth. “Can I go to the library in your plac-…” However, I stopped mid-sentence, attracting his attention.
“Oh! Sure, go ahead, as if you had no responsibility to finish-…”
“What did you call me?”
The comment pulled Uppercrust out of his anger, but he resumed it in the blink of an eye. “Well, by your name?” He explained as if it were something obvious.
“M-my name? You…?” I pointed to myself and then to him, with a growing sparkle in my eyes. Bradley couldn’t have been more fed up with me at that moment, yet he pushed himself to keep the thread of a conversation he would have undoubtedly ignored completely a few weeks ago.
“Yes, Max, just what is wrong with you? You’re never very coherent, but this is too- Are you laughing?” He blurted out, puzzled, which didn’t matter because I couldn’t get rid of the inevitable silly grin on my face.
—Max, Max, Max,— his words echoed through every little space of my delusional brain, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized how lost I was.
What were we talking about again?
Damn, my name sounded so good in his voice.
“You’re crazy.” He leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.
And how couldn’t I be?
I wanted him to say my name once more, but I bit my lip, deciding I had played too much with fire and shouldn’t push it further for him to finally kick me out of the house.
I inhaled and exhaled, letting go of my excitement. I nodded and sat next to him, still with a smile I couldn’t shake off.
“Sorry,” I brought my fist to my mouth, coughing politely, “only my part is left, right?”
Bradley’s eyes lit up, on guard against my unpredictable actions. “Look at you, saying something coherent.” He boasted with sarcasm, and seeing I just agreed apprehensively, he lowered his arms to his lap and rubbed his eyes.
“You should sleep,” I hummed, taking the pencil and joyfully returning to my work.
I only heard his dry laugh, muttering something inaudible. “Don’t tell me what to do.”
“Then don’t sleep.”
He gasped indignantly at my audacity. “Oh, son of a bi-…” But he stopped, because Brad almost never cursed, and doing it now would mean he had cursed twice in one day.
He stayed by my side for a long moment. The brown-haired guy decided to ignore me with all his right, but he stayed there, reading any book he had.
And maybe the solution to all my problems was for Bradley to say my name more often, because I had never been as productive as I was in that hour and a half.
And that he was by my side.
I think it was the eighth subtle glance I dedicated to him when I noticed how he began to blink heavily behind his glasses, letting his head fall forward and pulling it back quickly as soon as he regained consciousness.
When he yawned, he finally closed the book with one hand, silently, and placed it beside me. The truth was, I had finished a good few minutes ago, however; I had no good reason to end that moment.
“I’m going to put some things away in the room,” he broke the silence calmly, standing up and stretching silently.
“I’m almost done,” I sang victoriously, appreciating the presentation I had come to cherish. Brad glanced at my work and headed towards the stairs, not without picking up Any, who had been asleep in one of the chairs next to us for a while.
“When you finish, I need you to take the books to the library,” he requested, and if it weren’t for the carefree way he said it, I would have overlooked what going to the library meant.
The serenity and happiness I felt were mixed with the bitter reminder of his ex, and the not-really-a-lie-but-more-of-an-omission-of-the-truth I had handled.
I was about to respond when he was already back to me on the stairs. On impulse, I approached the bottom of the stairs, calling him. He stopped, raising an eyebrow, “now what?” was written all over his face.
“I haven’t said goodbye to Any,” I declared, swallowing hard. In all the events that happened today, at least ninety percent of them Brad hadn’t expected, and yet this last one seemed just as surprising as the others.
He hesitated but realized my plea wasn’t entirely far-fetched, and he brought her to me, allowing me to pet her fervently, genuinely happy that she was well and reciprocated the energy.
“See you tomorrow at the party?” I asked hopefully, in a situation where he couldn’t ignore me. He gently moved the Pomeranian aside.
“And in the classroom to deliver the project,” he added.
The moment I left his bedroom, —after he yelled at me to lock the door,— I leaned against it.
The day couldn’t get any better. And I meant it literally, because now I had to face Bradley's ex and the mess my words and actions had caused.
But I would face that and whatever else came my way if it meant I could hear him say my name again.
Jealousy is bad.
But I don’t think it could be worse than even the remotest idea of them being together again.
I couldn’t bear it.
